My a Fat Man

I received my first blog comment!!! It was not nearly as bad as I thought that it would be. After all my goal is to offend and amuse and it seems that I have offended someone with my awful fatness. I thought that it would be my comment on hippies (kicking a hippie while they are down is quite offensive but amusing at the same time). I still hope to attract the wrath of some truly evil hippie whose scathing remarks will haunt me forever.

So on to the comment. I of course reserve the right to review all comments before I post them (just in case they are not offensive enough) and this one amused me enough that I decided to give it it's very own blog entry. My new secret admirer is Rain Princess. Wait a minute, it was a hippie! This hippie however has regressed so far intellectually that his/her comments (yes plural) read as follows:

your freakin fat

gytghyft6 your a fat man

yourmknoijnlnj your a fat man

0gy2hcrf6g2h65f5g62fdg65h263fy5g623yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy your a fat person

Now I have not edited these comments in any way, this is exactly how they appear and in the order that they were posted. Now let's take the first comment, your freakin fat. Well of course it's my freakin' fat (see how I used that contraction). I consumed a lot of Zingers to get that fat. (for my foreign fans Zingers are Twinkies covered with raspberry jelly and coconut freakin' sweet!)



It should really read: You're freaking fat, as the word "your" denotes ownership (I do own my fat though, until I go in for liposuction and at that point some bio-med waste company will own my fat). Again this is what is commonly referred to as a contraction. On to the second comment. The contraction is once again mysteriously absent. Then something altogether new. I am not sure if this is a foreign language or an attempt to bypass my exceptionally tough filtering system-me. The attempts do not stop there however, they become increasingly complex. NOT! (you have to love Wayne and Garth, PARTY ON!) I think that on the last one they must have either recieved an electric shock (my exceptionally tough filtering system at work ) or had some type of seizure or fit (it is also offensive but unfortunately not amusing to kick a person that is having a seizure while they are down).

For those of you who did not comment, please don't feel left out, maybe I will give your comment it's (again that contraction) very own blog post.

A Little Hippie Art

I have come to the realization that I am turning into a Hippie. I have avoided becoming a full blown communist meat hating hippie so far. Just the other day I ate a nice medium rare slice of rib eye heaven, engaged in capitalism (I bought a Mac), and then I kicked some hippie while he was down. Lately however my thinking and art has been influenced by some environmental issues. While working for North Idaho College I had an awakening as to the laziness of the people in our area when it comes to recycling. At the time I was taking an independent study sculpture class from Michael Horswill (excellent professor), and I was playing around with the idea of creating a piece out of plastic (plastic drink bottles) that I found in the trash. As I collected those bottles I was amazed and a little sickened at the numbers that were going in the trash on campus on a daily basis, the numbers were in the THOUSANDS.

I collected the majority of these bottles from one floor in one building on campus during a 30 day period. My co-workers also collected some for me in other areas but I tried to stick to using the bottles from that one area. I did use some from other areas to replace ones that I ruined or that were full of some disgusting unnamed substance. While it did not end up being what I originally started out to do (my art rarely ever does), it conveyed my idea in a way that proved to be effective. The finished sculpture called "Recycled" was in the shape of a 7' soda bottle. What I wanted to show was that we don't pay attention (or we just don't care) to what we throw away, and where it is going (in our landfills).

Recycled shown with Artist Jon Harty

The piece was displayed in the Molstead Library, during the Popcorn Forum at NIC, and on Earth Day at NIC. The piece was also mentioned in the Week's Worth News letter published by North Idaho College and in an article in the student newspaper, The Sentinel (even though they did not give me credit, they did showed a photo of the piece).

I tried to put in a link to the original article but was foiled by windows, save me Mac!!! (Mac will be here soon). Unfortunately the plastic bottle came to an unfortunate end at the hands of ASNIC. They moved the bottle without asking and it fell apart (if they had asked I had a plan for moving it without damage). I really shouldn't complain to much as this gave "Recycled" it's fifteen minutes of fame (and it is in google images thanks to Erin). I did repair the piece and even though it was not quite that same afterwards, it was used on Earth Day.

Camping tips 101.1

Don't you hate it when you fill your cooler to go camping and about a day in you open it up and a good portion of your ice is melted and your food is all soggy? Totally bites I know. Well something I learned from dear old Mom can help solve that problem. Instead of using bags of ice, save your 1 or 2 liter bottles (I prefer the 1 liter) , fill them with water and stick them in the freezer. Not only does this save you the hassle of squeezing cups of water out of raw hamburger it saves you money. This is also a great way to plan ahead for unexpected trips, especially for you all with 72 hour kits. You can quickly throw them in with perishables and be on your way escaping impending disaster. I try to keep at least four bottles in the freezer so that I can just throw them in the cooler and go (whether camping or escaping Armageddon). For those who have regressed intellectually: DO NOT FILL THE BOTTLES UP ALL THE WAY!!! Remember water expands when it freezes. Do the math (hopefully you have not regressed so far that you can't do the math).

And the Trip Begins

I have been wanting to start a blog for a while so I have finally overcome my fear and my tendency to procrastinate and have gotten down to business. Hopefully I am not too boring or cheesy in my attempts to share my interests and life experiences. I may be too late. Have faith that my following posts will contain information that will delight, offend, amuse, depress (you have to love a good black depression, don't you?), educate, cause you to regress intellectually (make you dumber than you already are), and so much more. Also remember when entering this blog to follow the advice of the wise Michael Horswill and "...always wear safety pants."